Elevator Pitch No. 2
The feedback I got from my previous elevator pitch harped on improving how I worded my skills and accomplishments in the middle of my pitch. After going back and watching my old pitch, I agreed with them and the parts didn't seem to flow very well together. To improve it, I switched around the order in which I said things in my second elevator pitch and just reduced the overall wordiness of the sections to improve the flow of the speech. I think my second elevator pitch flows a lot better in comparison to my old pitch. I am also no longer congested from being sick so it sounds much better than the first one did.
Sean,
ReplyDeleteAlthough you were fairly well-spoken during your pitch, I believe that you missed the criteria for this assignment. The elevator pitch is supposed to be pitching your business idea, not yourself.
Rather than focusing on your own qualifications, make sure to focus on pitching your business idea for the third elevator pitch. You should only talk about yourself if it helps strengthen the image of your business idea, and even then, you want to be careful about talking too much about yourself.
Sean,
ReplyDeleteI was easily able to identify some of the changes that you made from your first elevator pitch. You changed the wording up some and this made pitch flow a lot smoother. Also, I noticed that you were over 90 second mark by a few seconds. You could consider mentioning some details regarding your business idea and what you are pitching for. This could give some content to your elevator pitch. Other than that, great job on this elevator pitch!